Living in the Storm 

 Persevering through Challenges of Life

By Joyce McDonnell, Halifax, Canada 

Editors’ note: 

When we ask, why are you allowing such hard challenges in my life, God? Why these terrible storms? We go back to the Scriptures, about counting it joy when we face trials; about persevering. We read about Jesus calming the storm, and we can wonder, “what’s wrong with me, that the hard times aren’t stopping?” In fact, they can seem to be multiplying! In this piece, Joyce McDonnell shares personally about some of the most frightening storms that strike us – sexual abuse, sudden death, the suffering of a child, loss of jobs, friends, and community - reminding us that terrible storms come to everyone. Our souls’ wellbeing – even in times of peace and calm – is never in our circumstances, but in our relationships, with God and one another. Joyce’s story is a reminder of the powerful truth in those Scriptures, and that we need never fear that we must face hard things alone.   

James 1:2-4,12 (emphasis added)

Consider it nothing but all joy, sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  Blessed is the woman who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, she will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

It is hard to find all joy amid challenges, but persevering helps us get there. When looking back over my own storms and challenges, I have a humbled sense of profound gratitude that God was not only be at the centre of the storm but has seen me through.

One trial the disciples found themselves in was a frightening storm.

Mark (4:35-40) tells us about a time when Jesus’ disciples took him along in the boat to cross the sea of Galilee. “A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. But, Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don't you care if we drown?” He got up, took care of the storm, and asked...  “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Jesus challenged the disciples’ lack of faith. They knew he was sleeping in the stern, and they were quite content with that. But when the squall got furious, they kept their eyes on the wind and the waves rather than on WHO was asleep on a cushion! 

I have to ask myself, why did Mark tell us there was a cushion? As if Jesus sleeping was not enough information for us to get it!! Perhaps Mark wanted us to know how perfectly at rest Jesus really was, how undeniably comfortable he was while a storm was raging around them.

We see Jesus is in the eye of the storm - the calm at the center of any trial.

Storms come in all shapes and sizes, often without warning. The storm on the Sea of Galilee was a furious squall -- a sudden, intensely violent, strong wind, with equally violent rain.

We can face “perfect storms,” seasonal storms, hurricanes, tsunamis -- coming at different times, for different reasons, with differing cause and effect.

Life’s storms come in all shapes and sizes, often without warning, and differing in their impact on our lives.

A Seasonal Storm

One of the first storms of impact I recall happened when I was around 12. I was molested several times that I recall, not knowing how often because it happened in the night. When I realized what was happening, a dreaded fear took over me. I was old enough to know it was wrong and found the courage to speak up. Even though the situation changed, it left residual damage. I struggled with some irrational fears for a long time, hated feeling vulnerable, but my greatest fear still, is being alone at night. I’ve had to persevere through this for many years, thinking I’ve made headway, and then it shows up again. Sort of like a seasonal storm, it’s unpredictable, but it continues to exercise my faith.

Like a Violent Squall

Another storm that came like a violent squall happened a week after my high school graduation. One of our closest friends was killed riding his bike home after spending the day preparing a summer Bible camp. We were supposed to work that summer as interns with a local church. It’s hard to face death as an eighteen-year-old, full of life and dreams. In the midst of not understanding, but fully feeling the grief and pain, we had our simple, youthful faith to encourage each other to honour Neil with our shared faith in God. We learned life is short, pain is real and we had an introduction to true loss.

The Perfect Storm

One of the most heartfelt, emotional times in my life came upon us like a perfect storm: “several things occurring at the same time, often with devastating results.” I was 30 years old, with two boys, expecting our third child, and ready to celebrate nine years of marriage.

It was a beautiful, July summer night. We had worshipped with the church as a family in the morning, then my husband Shaun had done a 25k walkathon raising money for Hope Worldwide. We were so excited to head out on our two-week vacation, camping with extended family, and then Shaun and I were to escape for a week to celebrate our anniversary in Virginia Beach. 

The storm began around 6:30pm that Sunday night. I took over driving so my husband could rest his tired legs. About 15 minutes later, the tire hit a pit in the road and I lost control of the car. Shaun tried to lean forward to reach the wheel, so his seatbelt loosened. The car flipped several times, he and our one son, who was in a booster seat, were thrown out of the car. Shaun’s chest was severely cut open, and bleeding profusely. Our vivacious 3-year-old son was thrown into the oncoming lane of the highway, laying lifeless. In shock, and not knowing the extent of injuries, they were airlifted back to the trauma hospitals in Toronto.  

The storm was brewing. I was informed that our son had lost all vital signs and was put on life support. He had a double basal skull fracture, a severe brain stem injury, bleeding in one brain hemisphere. He was in the deepest level coma. He required paralyzing drugs to prevent any movement, and drugs to prevent seizures. He showed zero activity when his brain was tested for potential responses. Besides all that, he had a compound fracture of the tibia and fibula leg bones that required a plate and pins. 

Here are a couple of my journal entries from the thick of the storm:

August 3, 1991

9:43 pm

It has been six days since the accident. Only God could measure the tears and count the prayers offered on our behalf. This morning was so emotionally difficult for me. Some moments I feel calm and so faithful, and other times I feel numb and doubtful. My heart aches to see my son in such a state. I do wonder why we were chosen for this to happen to, and what we will tell the world. I know you want to be glorified, God, in all of this, and we pray our lives will be worthy of the glory.

Father, only you can take away the anguish I feel for him right now. 

You give only what we can handle. You test us and allow us to face this trial head on, to prepare us for something unknown. We give you our lives; please, give us back our son. Please God, not much longer. The pain is so deep. I begin to feel what you must have felt for Jesus as you let him die for me. Forgive me, Father, and thank you for my salvation. Please wipe away my tears.

Aug 6, 1991

10pm (tomorrow is our anniversary)

Well, I spent the day and night at the Toronto Hospital! Can you just imagine, three of us in three different hospitals. I am more convinced than ever that Satan is on a rampage of attack. This was the last straw—the miscarriage of our baby. We don’t know all the reasons, but it has been even hard to really focus on it. But we know that God is in control of our lives and promises to work out the best for us. Satan can accuse us as much as he wants but we are determined to stand firm to the end.

In the middle of the storm, we are often helpless. We have a choice to persevere through it, or fight it, as if we can control it. We persevered, and in time, our son slowly healed. He had to relearn everything from breathing, swallowing, to talking and walking again. I had a front row seat to one of the most incredible miracles I know, and persevering in faith showed me the sovereign glory of God. It felt like an honour to be part of the miracle.

The Tsunami

As painfully wonderful as our son’s recovery was, after the fact, there was a different storm that tested my faith to the core, where I tried to fix it, as if I had any control!!

We were serving in the full-time ministry, and a metaphorical tsunami hit, sending its shockwaves far and wide, way beyond our own family and church community. We suddenly had to deal with division, mistrust, and broken relationships in our church fellowship. We had just bought our first home; we had two teenaged sons, and a preteen. Six months later we lost our jobs and were out of the ministry. It took nine months for Shaun to get work again. It felt like everything was imploding, like no one knew how to get back on a path of unity. At best, all we could seem to do was damage control. 

As soon as there seemed to be a sense of relief, another aftershock would hit. 

Some of my darkest hours have been spent feeling totally alone in a crowded room of disciples. In the midst of trying to make sense of it all, there were hurtful accusations, loss of friendships, no sense of belonging, and seeds of resentment and bitterness were being planted in my heart. Satan was waging another war over the sovereignty of God. 

Because I found myself trying to fix the wrong, it became a test for me: to either leave humans on the throne of my heart, or battle to put God back in his rightful place and allow him to control the storm. 

This was a very long term one, that needed eyes of faith, not fear. The turning point came when I saw Job (Job 32:2) being corrected for defending himself rather than God. If we examine Job, God spoke to him in a storm, not a gentle wind! And he never answered Job’s questions; God just questioned him. Job’s humility shines through in response to God: “Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know,” Job 42:3b. After all the horrific, life-changing storms in his life, God blessed Job in the end because he was “blameless, upright, feared God and shunned evil.” Job 1:8.

Persevering through this enduring storm taught me to never question God’s sovereignty again. 

Even though we can be tested to the core of our being, the outcome is meant to be a persevering faith that trusts that God is in complete control. 

Regardless of whether I am insulted, accused, maligned, or alone, I must reject the temptation for bitterness and resentment. Just like Jesus, our faith needs to lead us to a place where we entrust ourselves to God, who judges justly. 

Job’s encounter with Elihu and God reinforced my understanding that there are storms we may go through in this life that we may not know the reason why, and there may also be false accusations that are deeply painful. God knew Job’s heart, his righteous character, that he would prove faithful through the storm. 

Like Job, we may not know the “why” a storm is raging, but we can learn to trust the heart of God and his sovereignty over the storm. This has profoundly taught me that I don’t have to feel compelled to defend myself from hurtful accusations, but I can certainly defend the gracious, forgiving, loving heart of God who will see us through the storms of this life. 

In the middle of that storm, I felt like it would never end. But God knows when we’re ready to move on, that our faith is maturing through the tested trial, that we’re learning to trust and let go. I had to learn to grieve what I lost, to journey toward a path of forgiveness, and to thrive again in His sovereignty. 

I can honestly say that we would never have come back into the ministry had I not persevered through the painful ups and downs of this relentless storm. God knew the proper time and provided the opportunity for us to serve full time again. 

The Storms Pass

And here’s a delightful detail that I think shows us God’s heart toward us: that beautiful place, where we had planned to celebrate our anniversary before the accident happened - Virginia Beach – it turned out that God said, “You’re not going for a week’s vacation; I’m going to move you there to work again in the ministry!” 

So in faith, we sold our home, put our belongings in storage, left our city, our country, our aging parents, left our children living in Montreal and Boston, and headed to Virginia Beach with two suitcases and a Keurig! Not to mention we had no official work visas at the time, to work in the USA as Canadian citizens.  We trusted God would provide, and he did. Shaun received his religious working visa nine weeks after making application. 

Virginia was a pure, joyful calm after the tumultuous storm we had endured. We settled in, God continued to heal my heart, I made incredible friendships. We began to envision being able to work there, happily ever after, until our retirement days! End of story... Not!!!

God always has a plan for maturing us! I guess he figured my heart was in a safe place for another trial. It seemed that He wanted us to leave Virginia Beach and move to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Where you know no one. And sell your house again. And leave your closest friends. Again. 

Rainy Days

Since we clearly knew God doesn’t ever make mistakes, we resolved to follow this call. Once we settled in Pittsburgh, it was an immigration trial almost the whole time. Many lessons learned, and many people praying, it was a perpetual rain shower. Officially unemployed, it was challenging not to be able to travel to see our parents, nor the kids in Montreal. Shaun’s Dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and my father had passed away just over a year earlier. 

There were times of maturing perseverance, and times of numbness. But I’m grateful for friendships that remind me it’s okay to be content with simple progress, to remember that “this too shall pass.” 

And then sometimes God also sends a reminder that he works in his time, as he sees best, like he did with Job. During the immigration challenges, a very close friend of mine who was in the middle of the previous church storm, drove seven hours from her home just so she could personally say she was so sorry to me for her part in what had happened during the tsunami times. Our friendship had been strained for fifteen years. We cried, we embraced, we prayed. I said “Go home in peace.” We serve an incredibly gracious God!   

Even though a five-year immigration journey did not go ‘our way,’ God still had a plan for us. Having to leave the US and return to Canada, we were still able to help the Pittsburgh church through the trials of Covid, thanks to Zoom! Everyone was in lockdown, so even after we had returned to Canada, we were able to connect with people in Pittsburgh just as well as if we had been still living near them. And it gave me the opportunity to be with my mother who was aging, living on her own, and to help care for Shaun’s parents too, in Canada. When it became clear that our immigration process into the US would take too long, with all the backlog of Covid shutdowns, we decided to end our visa application, sell our home in Pittsburgh, and move decisively to Halifax, Canada, where we now minister to the church. 

After a year in Halifax, it became evident we needed to move Shaun’s parents to live with us so we could help care for them. We look back with honour and gratitude for the privilege to give back to them, to see his father battle through Alzheimer’s, and live a faithful life to the end. 

I also have had to struggle through the sudden loss of my sister last year, dying from a massive heart attack. Shocking to say the least, we navigate grief, pain and loss with God comforting along the way, reminding us we are not alone, allowing us to weep many times in the garden as Jesus did, and then to find comfort in family and friends, knowing his Presence is with us. 

God reminds me he will forever be the calm in the middle of the storm, that there are cushions available to find rest and peace. We will never prevent the wind and waves from raging, but neither should we be focused on them alone. Like the disciples with Jesus in the stern, we need to focus our attention on who is asleep on the cushion. He will forever be our comfort and peace as we persevere to navigate living in the storms, awaiting our promised crown of life because we love him and have stood the test, just as James wrote centuries ago. 

Following is a couple of songs I found on the internet that helped bring a lot of healing, especially during the “tsunami” times. I was learning to lament and consider it a gift from God during a time when there was a lot of conflict, false accusations, impugning of motives. It felt devastating. Hence the “Blessings” song: ‘What if the trials of this life are God’s mercies in disguise?” God’s grace and mercy is an abundant gift that keeps on giving! Studying Job, Naomi and Lamentations was fundamental to my learning to more fully trust God’s heart through my journey and giving a voice to the pain and loss I felt. 

Eye of the Storm

By Ryan Stevenson

In the eye of the storm
You remain in control
And in the middle of the war
You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor
When my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me
In the eye of the storm

Blessings

By Laura Story

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise 

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home 

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Author bio

Joyce and Shaun McDonnell were high school sweethearts, married in 1982. Joyce has a degree from Abilene Christian University in Elementary Education, and she loved being a stay-at-home mom while her children were young. Joyce volunteered in various ministry roles in the Toronto church of Christ from 1985, then served as a full-time women’s minister there from 1995-2003. She taught in schools from 2007-2011 before returning to the full-time ministry in Virginia Beach (2012-2015). The McDonnells led the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, church from 2015-2020 and currently lead the church in Halifax, Canada, since 2021 to the present. They have three sons and two grandchildren. Joyce loves decorating, painting furniture, staging homes, gardening, traveling and cooking with Shaun, playing games with friends. She also loves any time spent with family and friends, delighting in sharing gratitude together for God’s grace, and teaching about women in the Bible.