Day 4 - Love That Forgives Completely 

by Kay Baker

Birmingham, England

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)

Forgiveness is a gift that you can give or not give. I wonder, though, if it’s a gift to oneself to love without expectations. God loves completely; therefore, He forgives completely.

Let’s look at Matthew 18:

• In verse 21, Peter came to Jesus. Why do you think he did that?

• What might have been Peter’s struggle at this time in his life?

• Dear sister or brother, Does this verse apply only to people in the church? 

• What is the significance of the number seven (7) for the Jews?

• Does loving someone have limits?

The phrase "seventy-seven times" signifies limitless forgiveness, emphasizing that true forgiveness has no bounds. This mirrors God's unconditional willingness to forgive, which is not limited by numbers but reflects His enduring nature and love.

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 8:12 (NIV)

Throughout Israel's history, God consistently forgave and restored His people, despite their sins. He demonstrated mercy through both pardon and active protection. Humanity has long struggled with sin, but God remains gracious and loving, offering forgiveness regardless of the circumstances. Biblical heroes often faltered, yet God continued to use them, turning their failures into growth.

In the past, whenever I sinned or made a mistake I found myself burdened by a sense of oppression, embarrassment, guilt, and deep shame that became constant companions, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable. The fear of judgement and the heaviness in my heart lingered for a long time, making it difficult to fully embrace and enjoy life.

The Root of Self-Judgement

It became clear to me that my patterns of self-judgement and the harsh views I held about my relationship with God did not arise by chance. My attitude was shaped by the environment in which I was raised and the messages I absorbed during my formative years. I was told God loved me, but I did not feel it at all.

My upbringing played a significant role in influencing how I viewed myself and God’s love for me. The lessons I learned, both directly and indirectly, contributed to the sense of oppression I often felt when reflecting on my mistakes and my relationship with God. Understanding this connection has been a major step in my ongoing efforts to heal, grow and accept God’s love for me as an individual.

I remember being a happy-go-lucky child, always running around doing everything that I could put my hands to. As I grew older, I remember having a conversation with one of the adults in my life who told me to stop fooling around and get serious and to be very careful. Then as I started seeing the seriousness of life and the dangers around me, I realized no wonder they were afraid for me.

 In our small seaside village life felt perfect and everyone was friendly. Over time, I became aware of issues like racism, greed, domestic abuse, and hunger. The most shocking event was when someone in our close-knit community was murdered. This deeply affected me as a child. The impact of this tragedy rippled through everyone around me. The realisation that such violence could occur so close to home, and at the hands of individuals we were familiar with, shattered the sense of safety and innocence I once had. I became fearful, careful, suspicious, shameful and hurt. These things took away my trust of people and chipped away at my trust of God. I became unsure of His love for me.

Growing up in church, I consistently received the message that my sin was something deeply condemning. As a result, I felt unloved by God, condemned and discouraged. I believed my sins and mistakes could not be easily forgiven or forgotten, but rather, they would continue to follow and define me indefinitely.

Accepting Forgiveness and Extending Forgiveness

When I made the decision to become a disciple, one of the most comforting realisations was knowing that God had forgiven me for all my sins and that He loved me just as I am. However, despite this assurance, I struggled immensely with forgiving myself. The weight of my own mistakes and sin often lingered, making it difficult not only to let go but also to extend forgiveness to others.  

I have witnessed in myself and others that unforgiveness brings an aggressive silence, it feeds on impure motives and makes our actions selfish.  We cause or do not actively deal with discord, jealousy, fits of rage; and we can indulge in worldly patterns that, without discipling, can make us believe that we’re doing the right things.

Through my experiences, I have come to realise something profound: God’s love for me is remarkably intense and boundless. Repeatedly, He offers me new opportunities, showing an unwavering willingness to forgive, and embraces me despite my shortcomings.

I catch a glimpse of this kind of love in my own life, particularly with my sons. When they say or do things that are hurtful, I have a readiness to forgive them. This capacity for forgiveness is not something that has come easily; rather, it is deeply connected to my growing relationship with God. It has gradually enabled me to extend greater patience, compassion, and forgiveness to others in my life.

This journey towards understanding and practising forgiveness has been shaped by my faith and by the example I see in God’s continual mercy and love. My relationship with Him has become the foundation upon which I build my approach to forgiveness, both for myself and for those around me.

Remember these things, Jacob,
    for you, Israel, are my servant.
I have made you, you are my servant;
    Israel, I will not forget you.
 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
    your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
    for I have redeemed you.

Isaiah 44:21-22

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

“To cleanse us from all unrighteousness” … What? No wonder I feel relief, joy and an unburdening when I am forgiven. It is a blessing! Forgiveness is essential for our own wellbeing. The act of forgiving brings about a sense of relief, joy, and freedom which comes from accepting the forgiveness that God has already offered through His complete love.

In a world that sometimes seems to undermine or overlook the value of forgiveness among Christians, we must remember that it remains a precious gift from God. It is always available to us—not only for receiving but also for giving to others—enabling us to live in true fellowship and freedom.

Questions for Reflection:

1. A question to ask yourself: What happens within me when I don’t forgive or I hold on to a grudge?

2. A prayer point: When I am tempted to be negative about myself and others, I will commit my negative thoughts  to prayer and ask God to help me to see myself as He sees me.

Today I Will:

1. Today I will forgive myself when I reflect on my sins, and accept God’s forgiveness.

2. Today I will be open to see what God is showing me through my interaction with others.

3. Today I will forgive people who have hurt me and not hold on to grudges.

About the Author:

Kay Baker became a disciple of Jesus in 1986 while living in London. She currently resides in Birmingham, in the United Kingdom. Kay has a keen interest in capturing images of the natural world, particularly fauna, flora, and wildlife. At present, she uses her mobile phone for photography, but hopes to one day have a camera with a more advanced lens to enhance her experience.