Day 2 - Loved Before You Loved Him
by Lola Ilesanmi
London, England
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
…We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:9-10, 19 (NIV)
But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
Jeremiah 31:3
A Love We Didn’t Earn
I still remember the first time my newborn daughter wrapped her tiny fingers around my thumb. She was only a few hours old, unable to speak or do anything for me—yet my heart overflowed with love I couldn’t explain. She hadn’t earned that love. She didn’t need to. She was my child, and that was enough.
That moment revealed something profound: Real love doesn’t wait to be earned. It reaches out first. It takes the initiative before the other can respond. That is exactly how God’s love works toward us. Long before we knew His name or offered Him a prayer, He had already set His heart on us.
“We Love Because He First Loved Us”
John’s words in 1 John 4:9–10, 19 take us to the heart of the gospel. Love did not begin with us. We were not the ones who initiated it. From the very start, it was God who moved first.
John writes that God “showed His love among us” by sending Jesus—His “one and only Son”—so that we “might live through Him.” This is not sentimental affection. It is sacrificial, covenant love. Verse 10 clarifies: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
Our relationship with God is not a ladder we climbed to reach Him. It’s a gift that came down to us—Jesus stepping into our brokenness to bring life and hope. The cross proves His love came first, even while our hearts were turned away.
When I Felt Unworthy
Several years ago, I entered a season of spiritual dryness. I felt disappointed with myself—angry about my failures and hesitant to pray, though I kept Psalm 91 open under my pillow at night. My thoughts ran in circles: “If I can just do better—pray more, serve more, sin less—maybe God will feel closer.”
One evening, after a particularly difficult day, I read Romans 5:8: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Those words were like fresh water in a desert. God was not waiting for me to “get it together” before loving me. His love had been steady all along, unmoved by my ups and downs.
That night, I realised something freeing: God’s love for me does not rise and fall with my performance. It began long before I ever knew Him and remains constant even in my weakest moments.
The Nature of First Love
We live in a world where most love feels conditional, based on looks, achievements, or behaviour. We’re taught to earn approval. But God’s love is radically different.
Here’s what it means that He loved us first:
-
His love is unearned. We cannot impress Him into loving us; He already does.
-
His love is unchanging. Our failures don’t cancel His affection.
-
His love pursues. Like a shepherd seeking a lost sheep, He searches for us.
This “first love” is the foundation of our faith and the reason we can love others with confidence. If God’s love depended on our worthiness, we’d always wonder if it might be withdrawn. But because His love is rooted in His character, we can rest secure.
Jeremiah 31:3 assures us: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
This kind of love transforms us from the inside out. We learn to love God not out of fear or obligation, but as a natural response to the love we’ve already received.
Life Example: The Prodigal Son
Jesus’ parable in Luke 15 paints a vivid picture. The younger son squandered his inheritance and returned home expecting to beg for mercy. But the father was already watching the road, already running to embrace him. The father’s love didn’t start when the son apologised. It had been there all along.
When we feel like the prodigal—ashamed, hesitant, unworthy—we can be certain that the Father’s eyes are on the horizon, longing for our return. His love reaches out first.
Life Example: A Friend’s Story
A close friend of mine resisted faith for years. Though raised in a Muslim household, he often mocked Christians and avoided church. Then he met a young woman whose life radiated kindness and grace. Through her patient friendship, he eventually visited church—and over time, he surrendered his life to Christ.
Later, he told me, “I thought I was finding God, but I realised He had been pursuing me the whole time.”
His testimony echoes John’s words: “We love because He first loved us.”
That friend is now my husband. We’ve been married now for 31y years.
Living in the Security of His Love
Many of us struggle to believe we are truly loved—especially when we’re painfully aware of our failures. But today’s scripture reminds us that God’s love preceded every one of our choices.
We don’t have to strive to earn His affection. We don’t need to prove ourselves worthy of it. We don’t have to fear losing it when we stumble.
As we reflect on this truth, let’s see our lives as a response to a love that came first. Let it free us from shame. Let it fuel our worship. Let it overflow into kindness toward others.
We are deeply loved—before we loved Him, before we could respond, before we even knew Him. That is the heart of the gospel.
Questions for Reflection:
-
Which part of 1 John 4:9–10, 19 speaks most deeply to your heart today, and why?
-
Can you recall a time when you sensed God’s love reaching out to you before you reached for Him?
-
How might remembering that God loved you first change the way you love others this week?
Today I Will:
“Today I will rest in the security of God’s unearned love and extend that same grace to someone who feels unworthy.”
What about you today ? I will …
About the Author:
Lola Ilesanmi has been a disciple of Christ for 35 years. She loves hospitality and helping others experience the depth of God’s love through the Scripture. She is married to Bode, and together they oversee the Northwest London International Church of Christ. God blessed them with three adult daughters who are in Christ. Lola feels blessed to experience the love of Christ.
Leave a comment
21 Comments
Mar 2, 2026, 3:53:32 PM
Olubunmi Dairo - Thanks Lola for this reminder that God’s love is amazing and that he is our ever present helper both in good and bad times. God’s love is unconditional whatever the state of my heart either when I am in sin or feel at the heights of my faith.He is my faithful father and will never leave nor forsake me.
Mar 2, 2026, 1:54:27 PM
Naomi S - Thank you for this insightful and encouraging quiet time! I love the abundance of scriptures which just reinforce the fact that God’s love is deep, and high and wide and long! I appreciate the reminder that His love is independent of our performance! Thank you for this!
Mar 2, 2026, 1:12:12 PM
Abiola Uche - Thanks Lola greatly for reminding of God's love. This love is beyond human comprehension. God's love for me doesn't fade .its constant even when I don't reciprocate this love its always there. This has and will make ne to continually love God and when I sin ill run back to him. I will extend this love to others so help me God. Amen
Mar 2, 2026, 10:01:56 AM
Elise Gyabeng - This day of reading brought tears to my eyes. You might say why??? How could GOD so love the WORLD… This is a big WORLD and the love I feel from GOD is real. He has been with me thru my sickness’s and my many surgeries and I have doubted this Love so many times. Thank you for bring me back to the REALNESS of GOD’S unconditional LOVE for me and the WHOLE WORLD… Wow!!!
Mar 2, 2026, 9:34:28 AM
Jess k - This was really nice to read your thoughts and insights! Thank you
Mar 2, 2026, 7:58:23 AM
Leonor Martínez - Muchas gracias por recordarme está gran verdad, a veces batallo con sentirme culpable por no servir más o pecar menos y este devocional me ayudó mucho a entender que Dios ya me ama porque lo hizo desde el principio. Gracias
Mar 2, 2026, 7:17:07 AM
Kunle T (Toronto) - Thanks for this reminder about what true love is. How God loved us first without any expectation of performance from us and how He continually does. A good opportunity for me to reflect on my response to that pure and unconditional love.
Mar 2, 2026, 6:40:04 AM
Andrea Johnson - Thank you for your insights and wisdom my sister. My focus for this week will be on loving people first before judgment or remembering past hurts.
Mar 2, 2026, 6:13:48 AM
Leasa J - What a lovely reminder of what real love is. Thank you Lola for sharing your life and your heart with such wisdom from the scriptures. Be blessed 🙏🏾
Mar 2, 2026, 5:35:23 AM
Elizabeth Camarena - Un artículo motivador, visto desde el amor q no necesita ser ganado, Dios nos ama desde siempre, un amor muchas veces no correspondido. El Inagotable Amor que sostiene.. Gracias.
Mar 2, 2026, 5:27:13 AM
Ingrid - Many encouraging words and insights, my sister!
Mar 2, 2026, 5:16:19 AM
Jasmine ilesanmi - This is so beautiful!! I am so glad I was able to read this today and it was such a great reminder of Gods love! The fact that God came to us first is so profound! We didn’t do anything and yet God loved us first- and he still does! Thank you so much for this reminder! It’s so beautifully written!!! Love u mum💗🥰🥹
Mar 2, 2026, 4:38:17 AM
Anthony Adeniran Gbolagun - Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I am truly inspired, highly encouraged this morning... Many of us struggle to believe we are truly loved - especially when we’re painfully aware of our failures. But today’s scripture reminds me that God’s love preceded every one of our choices. Dear Sister Lola, thank you once again. Remain blessed. Amen.
Mar 2, 2026, 3:42:58 AM
Clara Bazuaye - God’s love for us came first—before our choices, before our failures, and even before we knew Him. We don’t have to earn His love, prove ourselves worthy, or fear losing it when we fall. His love is secure and unchanging. When we truly understand this: It frees us from shame. It moves us to worship. It inspires us to show kindness to others. The heart of the gospel is this: We are deeply loved—always and first. 💛.. Thank you Lola wonderful reminder 😊
Mar 2, 2026, 3:13:50 AM
MRS ANASTASIA MORRELL - Beautiful teaching and very encouraging! A great reminder.. Thanks Lola.🙏❤️
Mar 2, 2026, 2:26:26 AM
Donna Williams - This was such a great reminder that love is just for love's sake. I appreciate the comparison of Gods love to a mother's love of her new born. They come from a world mum is not privy to, covered in all sorts, including blood which gets washed away. Knowing nothing and needing everything, and you just love unconditionally regardless of how they look. They're yours. Similarly, we all come to God covered in kind of spiritual mess, clueless and helpless, and God loves us unconditionally but covers us in blood again. I fail sometimes to remember the work is finished. I don't need to prove anything. So thank you for this reminder. Very humbling for my soul in many ways.
Mar 2, 2026, 1:44:47 AM
Bosede Bukola Babayemi - Thanks for sharing this. I know God loves me but have never think deeply about Him for loving me. I always think God's love me when am doing His will but that is not true. He loves me even before I get to know Him. God bless you
Mar 2, 2026, 1:42:50 AM
Omobola Abolarinwa - Thank you for sharing aunty Lola. I experienced God's love as a young girl who didn't know the right direction and path to follow. He guides, protected me from danger and death, and leads me gently into His kingdom. He cares for me still. So much take away from your sharing... I couldn't earn God's love, nothing I do could deserve me being loved, but He loved me, way before I could pronounce His Name, way before I could pray to Him. He runs after me with love, like a shepherd seeking a lost sheep, He searches for me with love. His love is unearned, I can't impress Him into loving me, He already does, even before I am aware of it. His love is unchanging. And just as you shared, “Today I will rest in the security of God’s unearned love and extend that same grace to someone who feels unworthy.”
Mar 2, 2026, 1:03:04 AM
Esther Akinwande - I feel blessed by this write-up and you sharing your personal experience. I feel privileged to be loved unconditionally by God and that nothing I do will take that love away. I will also strive to love others irrespective of what they do or not do God helping me. Thank you.
Mar 2, 2026, 12:36:07 AM
Blessing Odagbu - Thanks so much this is powerful and I am inspired and encouraged. God bless you.
Mar 2, 2026, 12:31:04 AM
Ngozi Orumwense - Great sharing my dearest sister. Thanks for reminding me that God loves me even in my lowest and dark moment. I need to be intentional and deliberate in my service to Him and others.