Watch Out and Protect

            Lessons Learned in My Marriage

By Sheeba Alex – Trivandrum, India

 “Catch for us the foxes,

the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,

our vineyards that are in bloom.”

            Song of Songs 2:15 NIV

 I believe our marriage is like a vineyard where we must make intentional efforts to care for it and protect it. We need to watch out for the “little foxes” that can ruin our vineyard.

Have you been paying attention to your marriage, watching out for any possible threats, which may look very small to you now?

Can we spend some time to catch those little foxes?

I have discussed this with a few of my close friends and I have included their thoughts as well as mine, below.

Please carefully observe the vineyard of your marriage:

• Is there any “small” doubt or misunderstanding that could grow if it is not cleared up?
• Is there a “little” prideful attitude, which could cause major damage in the marriage?
• Is there a “small” deceit that you are trying to cover up?
• Is there a “little” unfaithfulness that you enjoy?
• Is there any unforgiving attitude that takes away your desire for intimacy?
• Is there a “small” comparison to others’ situations that creates unhappiness?
• Is there any hint of sexual immorality that could destroy your marriage?
• Is there any bitter root growing that could grow up to cause many troubles?
• Are there any resentments or negative feelings causing disconnection?
• Are you watchful for any obsession with gadgets or social media which steals away time with your spouse?
• Are you so focused on your children that you miss out attending to your most important human relationship?
• Are you struggling to have the compassion and empathy to meet the needs of your spouse?
• Are you too busy to communicate your feelings or plans to your spouse?
• Are you afraid of conflicts, avoiding a heart-to-heart conversation?

At times in my marriage, I have struggled with all of these issues. I am very grateful for all the scriptures that have been guiding me and for my friends who have been willing to make time to listen to me and to help me.

            I have to keep watching out for these little foxes. 

“The prudent see danger and take refuge;

But the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”

            Proverbs 22:3

            Do you sense any danger lurking for your vineyard? If so, will you seek help?

             I believe we must invest time and energy in making our fences strong and tight to protect our marriages.

            Are you intentional about taking steps, such as specifically praying for your marriage, learning and applying the instructions in the Bible for a healthy marriage?

            Are people with godly wisdom invited into your life, with whom you feel safe to be honest about how you feel?

            We can all be encouraged to embrace the gift of confession and grace whenever we face any struggles. Let us take good care of our marriages and cherish this wonderful gift God has given us.

Editor’s note:

You may wonder why Solomon compared foxes in vineyards to potential troubles in a marriage relationship.

It seems that a fox isn’t attracted to vineyards only to nibble at the fruit of the vine (which we might assume is no big deal. However, they can bite into whole bunches of grapes, making them unusable). Far worse, they will gnaw on the trunk, dig holes around it and expose the roots, which can destroy the entire vine. It takes three years for a newly planted vine to produce grapes; older vines have deeper roots and are more tolerant of adverse weather conditions (like flooding). Imagine the loss to a vintner if foxes got loose in her field of carefully tended, mature fifty-year-old vines!

Debi Walter, Beware of these 6 Little Foxes, https://theromanticvineyard.com/2013/07/31/bewareofthese6littlefoxes/, accessed September 1, 2022

Gerson Robles, Foxes and Vineyards, https://www.youthchallenger.org.au/foxes-vineyards/, accessed September 1, 2022

https://winefolly.com/deep-dive/why-old-vine-wines-are-so-special/

Author’s bio:

Sheeba Alex has been a disciple for 29 years and has been serving in the ministry for 28 years.

She and her husband, Saji Alex, oversee the Kerela region of India and lead the church in Trivandrum. They are happy parents of two sons who are also disciples. Sheeba enjoys learning and teaching God's word, spending time with friends, nature walks, listening to songs and watching movies.