Q & A with an Author:

Bola Sowoolu Talks About Her New Book on Parenting 

Birthing Beyond Babies is available in either a paperback or Kindle format on Amazon or you can go through the link Coaching to Soar. 

Tell us about your new book. What inspired you to write it?

A couple of years ago, while in casual conversations, some women encouraged me to write a book on motherhood. This was during a season when I was open to hearing and considering it. I prayed about it, spoke with my husband, and asked my adult children. Their encouragement and affirmation helped me step forward in faith and begin writing.

I’m deeply thankful to God, not only for the opportunity to begin this book, but to actually finish it. Writing Birthing Beyond Babies was a 16-month journey, and everything I’ve written comes from my heart. The book reflects lessons I’ve learned, embraced, and applied over time, not perfectly, but consistently.

As I look back over my journey as a mother and over the life of our family, what stands out first is God’s goodness. We have experienced incredible blessings. Far more than we could ever have imagined or deserved. At the same time, along the way, my family and I also faced some unique and uncertain circumstances. Situations that, on the surface, could easily have been seen as disadvantages or even causes for despair. And honestly, without God, those circumstances could have led to very different outcomes for our family.

What I can now see clearly is this: while challenges affect us because we are human, they don’t have to determine our long-term outcome. I’ve come to believe that life, love, and lasting legacy are shaped far more by the culture we intentionally and consistently build in our homes, as mothers in partnership with our husbands, than by the difficulties we face.

What do you see as some of the primary needs and desires of today’s mothers?

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of serving and walking alongside women in different parts of the world, especially in the UK. Two things consistently stood out to me.

Firstly, most mothers deeply desire for their children to thrive and to become the best of who God created them to be. Alongside that, they long for an enduring, meaningful relationship with their children, not just during their youth, but throughout life.

Secondly, I realised that no two mothers’ situations are the same. Some are raising children with strong family support, some are working while raising their children, some are at home full-time, some are single mothers, some have adopted children, and some are raising children with additional or special needs.

While each situation comes with its own challenges and opportunities, what I’ve seen time and time again is that God can work powerfully in every situation when we are intentional. This book is written to help parents, especially women, no matter their circumstances, be intentional about cultivating the cultures within their homes. When we do that, we don’t just give birth physically; we birth life, love, and a lasting legacy.

The title, Birthing Beyond Babies, definitely catches my attention. What inspired that title? What do those words mean to you?

I truly love the title, and it means even more to me now than when I first came up with it.

During the season when the idea of writing this book emerged, I was studying the book of Luke. As I read the narrative of Jesus and John the Baptist, from their miraculous births to different stages of their lives, something struck me afresh. Their mothers physically birthed them under very unique circumstances, but the story didn’t stop there. These babies grew into boys, into young people, and eventually into men who fulfilled God’s purpose for their lives.

It dawned on me that while their mothers birthed them physically as babies, they continued to birth them into adulthood through what was poured into their lives at home. That was the moment the phrase “Birthing Beyond Babies” came alive in my heart, and I wrote it down immediately.

For me, the title captures both a privilege and a responsibility. Many of us have experienced pregnancy: seeing our unborn babies’ scan, hearing the heartbeat, feeling our bodies change, and finally meeting our babies for the first time. Every birth is a miracle of God. But our children don’t come from us; they come from God through us. And they are entrusted to our homes for many formative years. During that time, we continue to “birth” them, not physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

Just as we were intentional about what we consumed during pregnancy to nourish our children, we’re invited to be just as intentional about the culture we create at home as we nurture their identity, character, and faith. While there is so much we cannot control in the world around us, every mother, no matter her situation, can be intentional within her home.

What do you hope readers will glean from Birthing Beyond Babies?

The book is divided into three sections: Preparation, Path, and Possibility.

In the Preparation section, I invite mothers to begin with themselves, because every home will have a culture. The question is whether that culture is formed by default or by intention. Who we are becoming as mothers has a profound impact on the culture we build in our homes.

One scripture that has shaped me deeply is “The wise woman builds her house” (Proverbs 14:1a). That verse reminds me that building requires intention, humility, and partnership, especially with our husbands.

A key part of preparation is how we see. 

First, it begins with seeing beyond the moment. It involves having clarity about what we are hoping for our children and family. When we know where we are going, it becomes easier to make decisions that align with the culture we want to build, rather than simply reacting to circumstance.

Second, it is about how we see ourselves, which can become our identity. How we identify ourselves shapes how we approach life and how we parent. If we don’t see ourselves clearly and truthfully, it becomes difficult to parent with confidence, peace, and purpose.

Thirdly, it’s about the story we tell ourselves about our situation, and that story begins with what we choose to focus on.

We don’t always get to choose our situation, but we do get to choose what we focus on and over time, that focus becomes the story we live from.

Preparation also requires facing reality with honesty and grace by gaining insight into ourselves, our children, and our family dynamics. When we understand our reality, we can take intentional steps that truly matter instead of parenting from pressure, comparison, or guilt.

Apart from the way we see, the preparation section also encourages mothers to care for their spiritual lives, bodies, hearts, and minds so we don’t parent from emptiness, but from abundance. Parenting is life pouring into life, and what we store in our hearts will overflow into our homes.

The second section, Path, outlines six key cultures, with each chapter focusing on one culture. I share why each culture matters, practical ways to cultivate it, and real examples from our family and others, showing how these cultures can be lived out in different situations. I also reflect honestly on what I learned along the way and what I would do differently with hindsight.

The final section, Possibility, is a short but hopeful invitation to reimagine motherhood beyond the early years. It explores how we continue birthing beyond babies after our children leave home, especially through our roles as mothers-in-law and grandmothers, continuing to birth life, love and legacy into the next generation.

So often we step into these new roles with joy, but without always understanding what they truly mean or how to embrace them in a life-giving way. Preparing our hearts and understanding what these roles look like is a gift, not only to us, but to our children and generations that follow. This section helps mothers approach this stage with intention, wisdom, and grace, so they can continue to nurture strong, loving relationships and be a lasting blessing to their families.

Do you have any other projects we should look forward to?

Not at the moment. I do have an idea for another “Beyond” book in the future. The title I currently have in mind is Beauty: Beyond Our Bodies—but it’s something I’m holding lightly and prayerfully. For now, my focus is on stewarding Birthing Beyond Babies well and supporting mothers in every stage of their journey.

About Bola

Bola Sowoolu is an author and certified coach who helps individuals, families, and organisations grow and thrive through seasons of transitions.

Drawing from faith, research, and lived experience, her work supports the cultivating of healthy life-giving environments and sustainable foundations, enabling people and organisations to grow with resilience and purpose. 

Bola was baptised into Christ in 1985 in Clemson, South Carolina, in the US. She and her husband, Toks, have been blessed with an adult daughter and her husband, and an adult son and his wife, who are all disciples of Jesus; as well as two beautiful grandchildren. Along with her husband, Bola served for decades in the full-time ministry. They are part of the London Church.